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MONTH 10 AND BEYOND - COACHING AND SUPPORT

1/11/2017

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Reflecting on many years of Waldorf and Montessori approaches and extensive experience working with countless families, Dianne and Cynthia have created the following model for coaching and consulting with parents beyond the immediate postpartum:

We provide coaching support through the challenges and transitions parents face beginning at birth through their children’s first seven years. 
Specifically:
~ children’s sleep issues
~daily and weekly rhythms that work for your family
~designing and maintaining family home environments
~ fostering independence
~developing loving sibling relationships
~ temper tantrums
~ toileting
~mealtimes
~understanding a newborn’s ever changing routines
~ the developmental stages of early childhood and temperament traits
~bringing mindfulness to parenting
~and more
 
In a competitive world awash in information it can be very helpful to have the support of someone who has raised children, has many years of experience working with young children and their families, and who brings a non-judgmental perspective to meet your family’s specific needs. 
 
Focused help: As parents we often find ourselves stuck in a specific dynamic with our children, or we find our children stuck in one with their siblings. At these times it can be very helpful to have someone’s outside perspective and who is able to provide supportive tools for change.   
We offer two packages.
 
1) This package is designed to support you through working on one specific question or problem:
 
      First, we will ask in advance for a detailed description of what you would like to focus on, we will then arrange a time to come to your home and observe for up to two hours. 
      Then, we schedule a time to meet with both parents and talk about our observations and provide support and recommendations.       
                             The cost is $150.
 
 Another option:
 
         2) This package is designed to support you through ongoing coaching supportas you change a specific aspect of your parenting. 
            We will schedule a regular visit, weekly often works best, for an hour or more to listen and offer our observation, support and recommendations. 
                            The cost is: $50/hr

Dianne Bearinger brings many years of experience with parents and young children to her work as a consultant. She taught the Nursery Class at Charlottesville Waldorf School for a decade before her own children were born. During this time, in addition to her class teaching, she focused on parent education and wrote many articles describing the Waldorf approach to parenting and home life. With her own children she helped form an active Waldorf based Home school group. Her son and daughter are currently both successful students at Virginia Tech. Dianne currently teachers the Parent-Child Class at the Waldorf School, in addition to her work as a Postpartum Doula, Parent Consultant and Coach.

Cynthia Jordan Fisher is an AMI certified Montessori Assistant to Infancy (since 1985) who assists mothers with newborns in the home and infants and toddlers in the community. She is also a DONA certified Postpartum Doula (certified 2007). Cynthia has worked as a Child Development Specialist supporting families at risk (1989-1993). She has taught Montessori based parent child classes (since 1995) and preschool and toddlers (since 2003). 
Cynthia is a mother of two daughters, ages 31 and 22 and has five grandchildren ages 6 to 14, all locals:)
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The Month 10 village

6/13/2016

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Matilde Zadie Bright was born May 30 at 3:30am. In her first two weeks she has reveled in the support of Month 10 doulas: skin-to-skin time, nursing and endless love from her mama Gwendolyn; at-home-check-ups from her midwife Debbie; her first bath with Cynthia; and sweet bonding time with postpartum doula Dianne. 
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Mama menu

5/4/2016

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San Francisco acupuncturist Courtney Moore and Month 10 doula Gwendolyn Roberts first met onstage as high school thespians at their California all-girls boarding school. After college and international adventures, their paths crossed again - by great serendipity - in acupuncture school in San Francisco. In the long braid of their friendship, another crossing point came about via a shared love for supporting mamas in the postpartum time. 
Gwen will be welcoming her first baby in the next few weeks and she's thrilled to have the tools Courtney has collected in her new offering called the Mama Menu, a curated program of traditional remedies for postpartum care. Follow Courtney's work with mamas - and the care providers who support them - on facebook as well!   
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Many thanks

2/29/2016

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We are so grateful to Adam Mohr of asmphotography for the photo on our beautiful new postcards. It truly captures the sweetness and intimacy of the earliest days in the adventure of parenting: our passion and vocation. Thank you, Adam, for sharing your art!

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Celebrating Holidays and Festivals with Young Children

11/30/2015

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Celebrating Holidays and Festivals

With Young Children
 
 By Dianne Bearinger
 
The Waldorf approach offers many rich and beautiful ideas for celebrating the round of the year. Young children thrive on the magic and excitement of holiday traditions. They also love anticipation. One of the first things about creating holiday traditions in your family can be paying close attention to the build up. All of it can be special. The way the house is prepared. The food that is cooked or the music played. Your children can be included in all of it.

One of the keys to remember is that young children like to do things that same exact way over and over again. Keep that in mind as you plan what you want to do for the celebration, you will probably be asked to do it the same way the following year…and yes, they will remember.
 
 I like to think of the dining room table as the center, or heart, of my own home. Some families have a small alter in their home. I have my table. Most family holiday celebrations happen around a special meal, so the table is a good place to start.
   
For a Spring Celebration I would start slowly, maybe weeks before, with a simple vase of new spring flowers. Growing grass seed or wheat grass seed in a basket, (with a plant saucer in it), can be a nice alternative to “Easter grass” that you buy at the store. Even very young children can be responsible to keep the grass seed watered, (a spray bottle or mister works well for this). Slowly eggs and nests start to appear and then an egg tree, all laid out on a spring green silk.
 
Young children love to celebrate things close to their own direct experience. Flowers blooming, grass coming up and turning green, eggs and nests everywhere….these things are miraculous to young children. There is little need to purchase any extra “stuff” to create a beautiful festival. So much can be gathered from your environment. There is also the consideration of the expectation that you establish as part of your tradition. If your family celebrates every Holiday by giving elaborate gifts, that will be what your children expect the holiday to be. If the holiday is about something special that you cook together only at that time of the year, or some special songs that you sing together, that is what the expectation will be.
 
I also like to think in terms of complete cycles. I once went to a demonstration where these Tibetan Monks made an amazing and elaborate  mandala, out of different colored sand. After it was finished and they said a few prayers over it, they wiped it away, and cleaned off the table that it had been on. The work to build it had taken weeks, it was completely gone in an hour. Their belief was that the mandala was attractive to a particular healing spirit, it would draw the spirit’s attention and the spirit would grant a blessing, but then you had to destroy the mandala, in order to release the spirit or else it would get really angry.
 
I think that when we create a family holiday or festival it is like that, we create an opening for magic to take place.  It is also important to release the magic, to clean everything up, and carefully put it away for next time. This can add to the fun like getting together with friends to have a winter bonfire to burn Christmas trees. When my kids were young, we always smashed up the eggs from the egg tree to make a beautiful multi-colored “magic dust” to help our garden.
 
From the Waldorf perspective the round of the year can be seen as a breathing process: with the winter solstice as the extreme in-breath, and the summer solstice as the out-breath, the equinoxes, (which literally mean equal night, or the time when day and night are in balance), as the points of balance and rest, in between. The colors we use in the classroom reflect this…deep blues in the winter and bright yellows in the summer. Many stories and song reflect the play of light and dark in the round of the year. Celebrating these is also something from the child’s direct experience.
 
Light and dark, miracles from the natural world, these themes are universal, something that we all share, festivals based on these can also help to bring us all together, whatever religious or spiritual traditions we follow.
  
 


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PLACENTA ENCAPSULATION for a more balanced Postpartum recovery

11/23/2015

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The placenta has amazing abilities during the postpartum period. It can heal, sustain and strengthen a woman's body, mind and spirit when she is experiencing rapid hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation and fatigue. It is considered the "force of life" in Traditional Chinese Medicine. Rich in vitamins, minerals and hormones that nourish the baby in the womb, it is perfectly suited to the mother, replenishing hormones and iron levels, increasing energy, enhancing milk supply and balancing mood.

Traditionally, placenta capsules are used to:
  • balance your hormones
  • enhance your milk
    supply
  • increase your energy

Other significant benefits may include the following:
  • Significantly reduces post-birth bleeding
  • Helps the uterus contract
  • Encourages a quick and healthy milk supply
  • Replenishes essential hormones, such as prolactin, oxytocin (the "love hormone" which helps bonding between mother and baby), thyroid stimulating hormone, cortisone, interferon (stimulates the immune system), hemoglobin (replenishes iron) and others that support the immune system, reduce inflammation and assist with healing and blood loss.
  • Replenishes essential nutrients such as Vitamin B6 and iron
  • Reduces stress levels
  • Prevents or eases the "baby blues"
  • Leaves new mothers feeling calmer
  • Gives mothers with newborns the energy to cope with a busy day
The thought of ingesting the placenta may not appeal to many moms, however the encapsulation - usually done in the doula's home - makes it simple and palatable (the placenta is  steamed and dried, then ground into a powder and put into capsules; they have no real odor by the end).

We have been providing encapsulation services to women in the Charlottesville area for a few years and have received such positive feedback, from first time moms as well as second, third, and even a mom of six!

Here is a testimonial from one of our clients:

"I first heard about placenta encapsulation through my doula, Jen. We were discussing my severe mood levels after the birth of my first child and how I was scared of going through that again.  I never experienced true post-partum depression, but the intense change in hormones definitely did something to me that was unwelcome and unexpected.  She immediately suggested that I eat my placenta.  I literally almost gagged and looked at her like she was insane.  She explained to me the process of encapsulation and it seemed like a no brainer to me. Those first days/weeks after a new baby can be so challenging, so what is the harm in trying something that can be so beneficial?

That’s when I began my own personal study on the topic.  I found that it is such a common practice in other countries and the philosophy behind it makes so much sense.  If you put back into your body this super rich nutrient dense supplement your body can then rebuild itself in magical ways!  Having not taken my placenta with my first and having done so with my daughter, I can tell you there was a significant change.  I was brighter and cheerier, I never experienced that intense shift in my mood that made me feel “crazy”.  I was handling a 3 day old and a 2.5 year old with a smile on my face. Sure, it was challenging but the feeling of bliss just seemed to resonate over the constant diaper changes, feedings, and toddler attention.  I really enjoyed this time in such a different way than with my first.  And bonus - my milk supply was GREAT!  I ended up with some issues down the road that affected my breastfeeding but the placenta helped ease that emotional transition as well."


You can find more information on the placenta encapsulation at month10.com. Or contact us at month10doulas@gmail.com with any questions! We'd love to hear from you and enable you to access all the benefits from your placenta.

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We support Local Businesses

11/23/2015

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How to choose a postpartum doula and how they can help

10/20/2015

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This short essay may help when first exploring what postpartum doulas are all about. It also has some helpful tips when deciding which postpartum doula to hire.... so, read on!

What is a postpartum doula, and should I consider hiring one?Some people hire a private labor coach, or doula, to assist during childbirth. Similarly, there are doulas who specialize in helping familiesafter the baby's born, easing the burdens of daily life so you can concentrate on your baby.

Postpartum doulas don't have medical degrees but rather are trained or experienced in providing care during the first days or weeks after childbirth. They'll do all sorts of things to help ease your transition to new parenthood — from caring for you and your baby and offering breastfeeding advice to cooking, babysitting, running errands, and even doing light housework.

"The doula we used got us through the first two weeks after my son was born," says Lee Madison of Northampton, Massachusetts. "My partner and I had no idea what we were doing, and she made us dinner, took care of Willie, and kept the house clean. I got to nap and catch up on sleep — and was glad I had after she left."

Maybe you don't have a willing mother or other relative ready to pitch in after you have your baby. Or maybe you'd simply prefer to use a doula's services instead of, or in addition to, a relative's help. Either way — if you can afford to hire someone — you'll find the help of a good doula invaluable. Even if your mate is eager to take over household duties while you recover, letting someone else do some of the work allows the two of you precious time with your baby and with each other.
How do I find a postpartum doula?Ask your childbirth instructor, doctor, midwife, hospital, or friends for a referral. The organization Doulas of North America (DONA) can also help you find a postpartum doula through its online doula locator.

Once you have the names of prospective doulas, you may want to ask some of the following questions to make sure you find one who suits you. Keep in mind that she'll be providing personal services around your home, so you should feel comfortable with her as a person. You may want to interview more than one person.

Questions for prospective doulas:
  • What training or experience have you had?
  • What is your fee and what services does it cover? (Be sure to find out exactly what she will and won't do. For example, if you're expecting her to cook or help with an older child, make sure that's included.)
  • What happens if I give birth earlier (or later) than expected? Is your schedule flexible, and if not, can you refer me to another doula if need be?
  • Can you provide references from other families you've worked for? (And be sure to check those references!)
Keep in mind your personal response to a prospective doula during the interview:
  • Does she seem kind, warm, and energetic?
  • Does she seem knowledgeable?
  • Does she communicate well?
  • Is she a good listener?
  • Would you feel comfortable having her in your home?


Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board
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Step into your new mom body!

10/3/2015

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By Emily Koester and Robin Truxel

Wise and practical tips for taking care of your body and getting strong - safely - post babe. The article is full of information about the two main changes in your body from pregnancy/birth and a super helpful timeline for what to do at what point postpartum. It's long, but hang in there - it is info you will glad you have!

All of us who have had a baby experience changes in our bodies - from the hair on our heads (getting thick during pregnancy and then losing shockingly large clumps of hair in the first months postpartum) down to our feet (the swelling and even going up a shoe size). And then there is everything in between: breasts, belly, hips, thighs, and last but not least, our pelvic floor!
 
Soon after the baby is born, we realize that some of these changes don’t disappear. We wonder, “When will I get my body back?”  If you were physically fit or very active before getting pregnant, or during pregnancy, you may bounce back from birth (vaginal or C-section) quickly, feel energized physically, and emotionally ready to start exercising again. Or you may feel eager or anxious to get moving, to do something, to change the pace of life or the repetitive routine of life with a newborn. But in this time it is important to remember to be gentle with yourself. Take the time you need to recover from the months of pregnancy and the experience of birth whether vaginal or C-section and settle into a new you and a new way of life in the first year after birth.
 
It takes plenty of time for our bodies to adjust to no longer being pregnant. Many of these changes are hormonal and muscular. Understanding the role of hormones and certain muscles can help us relax into our new bodies and shift our thinking into a more realistic view of the first year postpartum. With some understanding and practical tips on exercise in the first weeks and months, you can “step into your new mom body, safely and confidently, and get strong!” 
 
Two of the most significant changes that affect your return to exercise:

  1. Relaxin, a hormone, begins producing from the day of conception until 3-6 months AFTER you stop breastfeeding.
  2. Pelvic floor and abdominal muscles stretch and support more weight.
 
The role of relaxin is to soften the ligaments, tendons and cartilage around your pelvis so the bones of your baby’s skull can make it out: A very important benefit!  However, in your postpartum body, it can put you at a higher risk for injuries: going back to high intensity exercise too quickly can cause SI (sacroiliac) joint, pelvic and lower back injuries from overstretching and not enough stabilization.
 
During pregnancy, the floor of your pelvis (diamond shaped muscles that run between your two bottom bones and between your pubic bone and your tailbone) supports the extra weight of your uterus and baby.  In effect, your pelvic floor and abdominal muscles have been stretched and worked for 9 months and need re-education of how to work again and support you before high intensity exercise can resume (unless you don’t mind peeing your pants!). 

During delivery, these muscles can be strained and overstretched and need proper time to heal to help support your trunk again. Many women (over 50%) experience a separation of their “six pack” abdominal muscle - the diastasis recti. This muscle needs appropriate exercise so as not to worsen. Doing sit ups, crunches, full planks, running and high intensity exercise too soon or without proper instruction of pelvic floor and deep abdominal muscles can lead to a worse separation, weakening and pain of lower back and pelvic areas and other dysfunction. Every woman should have an assessment of her abdominal muscles to check if this separation has occurred as waiting too long to work on it can be disastrous down the line.
 
What can I do and when?
 
From the day after delivery you can begin to work on deep breathing exercises, inhaling all the way down into your pelvis and abdominal area and exhaling to relax and release any tension in your jaw and face. In general, but especially when feeding baby, avoid slouching and use props and pillows for nursing and/or bottle feeding so you are not hunched over your baby. Better yet, get laid back while feeding. You should be relaxing your body - and mind - whenever possible during these first weeks postpartum. This is a priority! As you move around try to think of gently lifting your ribcage up off your pelvis - this will help to properly re-educate your trunk muscles and keep your posture lengthened. If you had a vaginal delivery, practice lying on your stomach (perhaps right after nursing so it is more comfortable on your bosom). This will help your internal organs to return to place. If you had a C-section, do this as soon as you are cleared by your doctor. 
 
For the first week, just rest and recover as your body has been through a lot!  Keep practicing your deep breathing and if you can feel those diamond shaped pelvic floor muscles, try to draw them together and up, being sure to fully relax them each time (this is best practiced with an empty bladder in the beginning). 
 
Learning how to engage and relax your pelvic floor is quite complicated as the muscle sensations are very subtle. Information can be found in books and online, but much of this information is incorrect. It takes only 15-20 minutes to learn how to find and feel these muscles. And it is imperative that you also know how to fully relax them. It can be extremely helpful to see a women’s health Physical Therapist or Pilates Instructor (see list of local resources at the end of this post) specifically trained in pelvic floor work - let her be your guide in learning these exercises. This technique is critical for connecting to your deep abdominals, improved sex and urinary continence! 
 
In your second week post babe, continue to keep it easy and relaxed. If you do too much too soon and get injured, it can be very hard to care for your infant and also to get the treatment you need. At the 2 week mark, begin to add in some walking, starting with 10-15 minutes at a slow, relaxed pace and increasing in 5 min increments. Walking is an excellent exercise, quite under-rated. Enjoy the experience of being outside and moving your body through space - it is wonderful for your baby, too! 
 
Continue with the walking/deep breathing/gentle pelvic floor engagement/relaxation through the next weeks.
 
At 6 weeks your uterus for the most part has shrunk back to your pre-pregnancy size. You will have a 6-week appointment so the doctor can check your healing.  If all is well and the doctor clears you for exercise, resist the urge to go back to what you were doing before you got pregnant. 
 
To increase your strength building and toning your muscles, Pilates is safe, gentle, and effective. Search for a Pilates or yoga studio that has instructors trained specifically to work with post-pregnancy bodies. Their focus is on educating your pelvic floor to work with your abdominals so your strength begins at the very bottom of your pelvis. Instruction emphasizes how to use these muscles during your normal day of lifting and caring for your baby, so you can be doing Pilates all day long. You will walk taller, have decreased back pain and develop this wonderful strength from the inside out! This is a critical time to get the appropriate muscles working in the right sequence and to not get hurt.  If you are careful and appropriate, you will end up much stronger and happier with your body as a new mama.  Continue to focus on your posture, your breathing, relaxing, and gentle stretching.  Remember that your new mom body has special needs that are specific and different than the 60 other people in your group exercise class, so it is important that you get the appropriate instruction, even if you only do a few sessions and practice it yourself at home.
 
For at least the first 6-9 months continue with more gentle exercise: Pilates, yoga, walking, swimming.
 
9 months and beyond. Save the running, jumping, high intensity stuff after your muscles have regained some strength and stability - around 9 months postpartum. Your body (especially your low back and pelvis) will thank you for the re-conditioning time and energy you spent with your pelvic floor and deep abdominals! 
 
Remember to be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to relax, let others do things for you (not necessarily always, but be open to receiving and/or asking for help!), choose sleep over exercise when you feel tired, eat to fuel your body. Remind yourself not to feel pressure to return to prepregnancy weight, pants size, bra size or body shape before your body is ready.

Embrace the idea of “stepping into your new mom body.”  You can have a strong, nimble, flexible body by taking good care of it. These are lessons you can also pass on to your children - and you can incorporate your children into your exercise activities as well!  If a mom moves through her world with happiness, strength and confidence, she raises happy, strong, confident kiddos!
 
Local Pilates and women’s health Physical Therapists
 
tru PILATES                           
trupilates.com                                                   
(434) 975-3800                      

Passages Physical Therapy
passagespt.com
(434) 979-5559

Lewis Pelvic Floor Therapy
lewispft.com
(434) 960-4434


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5 Reasons to Attend Mamas cafe                                     by  Debbie Wong

9/21/2015

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Each Tuesday from 12:30-1:30pm Month 10 hosts a Mamas Cafe.  This is a weekly event that you can attend as a person expecting the birth of a baby or a person caring for a little one.  We've people exclaim, "Charlottesville is a great place for family!"  This is a fact because the Charlottesville community offers much in the support in helping you raise a family in a confident manner.  Tap into the community resources by joining us at Mamas Cafe.  All, and of all ages are welcome.  We meet at Great Harvest Bread Co. in McIntire Plaza.

1. meeting and connecting with other parents

Too often, we hear that parenting is an isolating experience.  It is difficult meeting others who are at the same place in your lives.  This can be especially true if you are new to Charlottesville or feeling shy in your new role as a parent or parent to be.  Some regular attendees of Mamas Cafe have made friendships that have lasted beyond pregnancy and postpartum and into the toddler years.

2.  Rhythm and Ritual

Our bodies crave a rhythm.  Rhythm can be a centering point when other aspects of your life may be chaotic.  Babies, like us, also thrive when there is a predictable pattern to the day or week.  See last weeks blog post for more information on creating rhythms and "schedules."

3. Eat lunch while someone holds your baby

How do you find time for self care when there always seems to be so much to do or someone always needing your attention?  Taking care of your basic needs can be daunting during pregnancy or when caring for a newborn.  Come by to Mamas Cafe, grab a sandwich or a beverage, and let us hold your baby while you take a breath.  We LOVE holding babies.

4.  Alleviate Mood conditions

The CDC claims 11-20% of people will experience pre or postpartum depression and anxiety (these are just two of the many perinatal mood disorders) during pregnancy or within the first year of parenting.  Having a regular place to go, where you are met by supportive individuals can help alleviate the heaviness and darkness that sometimes comes with parenting.  

5.  Access to professional Advice

There is so much accessible information about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, it is difficult to know where to start and what to believe.  Each week Mamas Cafe is hosted by on of the Month 10 doulas.  We are professionals who are specialized in supporting you during pregnancy and/or postpartum.  Our practices are evidence based, non-judgmental, and we support your parenting choices.  
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    Month 10 

    Month 10 is a group of doulas serving families in the Charlottesville area and surrounding counties. In addition to postpartum services we also offer prenatal and birth doula support. 

    Each of our doulas works independently and you can choose one that feels right for your family

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